| | I make myself stick around. I force myself in. Why?
I'm afraid, deep down, that if I disappeared you wouldn't notice.
I'd rather have that suspicion then find out for sure. So I don't want to disappear. But you won't make the effort, so all the effort is mine... and it's exhausting. Then I wonder if I'm just here at all because I'm convenient. No one should be left wondering that.
Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't just be worth knowing so I could move on. Then I think I might end up losing what I value most.... but how valuable it a thing that reciprocates not at all.
I don't trust the ropes to hold me.
I have such a small understanding of my own worth that I crave perpetual affirmation. Like trying to fill a sieve. No wonder you grow weary of me. It must be exhausting to be required to love so much to prove that you love at all.
I struggle with forward motion.
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| | Posted 9/13/2009 1:05 AM - 6 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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